So you wanna go noshing in NOLA? I fell into the tourist trap and talked my vegetarian mother into having our first New Orleans meal at Mulate’s a “ legendary restaurant …recognized throughout the world as the King of Cajun Dine and Dance halls”-Mulates website. Considering this place to be ‘world famous’ I also intended for this restaurant to set the bar for authentic New Orleans cuisine. Well…i’m sad to say that if Mulates sets the bar, than New Orleans has learned nothing from their cousins in France- a country that is legendary for it’s gastronomy.
First Impressions: Mulate’s is located in the Central Business/Warehouse District amidst other restaurants tucked away evoking a sophisticated mood with their modern furnishings and dim lights. Mulate’s on the other hand is front and center, straddling the intersection of Convention Center Blvd. and Julia St. with a brightly lit sign just begging people to come in (you know the moth and the light effect). The restaurant’s high ceilings with exposed beams and long shotgun structure reminded me of a barn, add the cajun two-step music to the mix and i really felt away from California’s Bay. Once seated in the middle of the restaurant against the wall on the left side my mom realized she couldn’t see the band due to the vertical beams that went down both sides of the restaurant. We asked our waiter if we could move and he said that it wasn’t his section(what am i to make of that?!) Hmmm, first off i know that it’s one less table he gets to cash in on, but that was the wrong answer and set my mood for the rest of the evening. No longer excited to try a Hurricane we ordered little and left unimpressed.
The Meal: Over-priced for the quality. “Family-friendly”…is that code for substandard food, especially for the youngins since their palettes aren’t fully developed yet? For $5 I was served one, less than 12 inch long, sausage or “boudin” described simply as a typical cajun appetizer, spicy pork and rice dressing. Made on-site the boudin is a soft link more than a sausage encased with well ground spicy pork and rice, spicy mustard served on the side. Very good although the casing for the meat was like chewing paper that never dissolved. Yeah kind of a turn off. I balanced my boudin with a side salad that should have been laid to rest in a garbage disposal (or compost- go green!). At home i would have eaten it, but never should a salad with rust colored or translucent edges on lettuce be served in a well established dining facility. $2.99 can buy you this ‘lettuce out of a bag’ served on a saucer, no joke. My mother who mind you is from the south of France ordered the Crabmeat au Gratin ($24.99- yikes!). Out it came out deep fried and sizzling with grease on top. She was expecting the cakes to be baked, which i don’t think is a technique used much in the Deep South. She barely touched it her plates and since i’m not on for seafood, i gladly swooped in on her twice baked potato which was a treat to eat since i find them too time consuming to cook at home.
Lasting Thoughts: As we walked out of the restaurant, two women scanning the menu asked how our meal was. Regretfully we told them to not bother with Mulate’s and to take their appetite elsewhere. Quickly convinced, they moved on without hesitation. Even the live music, that only lasted a for half our meal, could not have made the experience better or more worthwhile.
Rating: Two Spit Shined Silver Spoons: Why you ask? I ate, my colon survived and i’ll return if i’m starving.
——————————
One tarnished silver spoon: A taco truck in Tijuana has a better reputation than this joint!
Two spit shined silver spoons: I ate, my colon survived and i’ll return if i’m starving.
Three polished silver spoons: Nice, bring the foodie-friends and don’t feel embarrassed by your choice of restaurant.
Four shiny spoons in a spoon drawer: Why hasn’t Bon Apetite reviewed this restaurant yet? Oh right… westernized gastronomes, they can’t help themselves.
